The Original MILF

Back in the 90s, the American Pie movies introduced white chicks everywhere to the M.I.L.F. Probably intended as a joke, the MILF has been taken a little too seriously by some. Move over trophy wives, white chicks have found a new aspiration– to become the future MILFs of America.

I have friends who have actually informed me that this is their future. Most of them even have a game plan to achieve this. Initially, I wrote them off as silly– a MILF should be born, not made– but I have to admit, faced with the alternative, I’d rather be a MILF than… not.

Maybe it’s time to start planning.

Recently, a friend in her early 20’s was griping to me about her boss and how she feels she will NEVER be as hot as this woman– and the woman is 64 years old! That’s actually kind of taking it to the next level, generationally speaking. A GILF?

That reminds me… where are all the old people? Seriously. If you’re lucky, you might catch a glimpse of one of the nation’s few remaining old folk somewhere deep in a Midwestern small town, but certainly not in any cities. In some cultures, the elderly are revered and even worshiped. So how is there a complete absence of them in a city as big and diverse as, say, Los Angeles?

Another victory for the plastic people…